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was i sexually abused quiz

    was i sexually abused quiz

    But i have no recollection or memory of having been sexually abused as a kid. Now I barely feel sexually attracted to anyone and when I do, I immensely deny it. My dad abused my mom all the time physically mentally and sexually in front of us. too many of these symptoms are relateable.. can someone help me? I barerly remember anything from my childhood, only very short and foggy memories. Hi Mattie, we have a very useful connected article that addresses all your concerns here http://bit.ly/dealwithabuse Kind regards, HT. Part of me wants to rip him to shreds, part of me is sad for him, maybe he was abused too. We are sure it will help a lot of other readers. Instead of focussing on whether or not its common, what about focussing on reaching out for some support on this? My parents say they have no idea (and I trust them, no reason to think theyre lying to me). Youll find that we always say the same thing unless someone invents a time machine, there is no way to know. Im about to turn 14 and I been having a lot of issues with mental health but no one noticed and I think it started growing when I was younger but Im sure but remember just crying a lot feeling worthless. They thought I actually liked him. Did you feel pressured or threatened by the other party to give consent? Hi M, Mother abuse does happen, and its something that isnt talked about enough. I might actually be happy if I know the truth and that is more alien to me than anything. We all have different physical boundaries and they are important to listen to. I dont really remember much to 5-10. So the best thing you can do is put your focus on that instead. I grew up very religious, completely segregated from boys. Children often do play sexual games with other children. Child Sexual Abuse Awareness & Prevention- FP Pt9. Starting to accuse others without being sure can sadly cause us more problems as people we are close to an turn against us or disappoint us by not defending us leaving us even feeling more sad and alone. fifth grade. Many if not most of us will suffer anxiety or depression at some point in our lives, for example. I have not since that day said anything to anyonenot even my wife. We cant say what did and didnt happen in your past. But the thing about abuse is, even as our adult mind makes sense of it, the little child inside of us doesnt, and her rage and despair still lives on. He then took my hand and placed it on his penis and said I should rub it. Im also very scared of doing anything sexual, despite wanting to be in a relationship, even the thought of it makes me quite frightened. Hearing people in religion take advsntage of children makes me feel even less protected by the church. I suffer from an anxiety disorder, I have major anger issues, and Ive abused alcohol and marijuana. I would have been 6-7, but I dont remember protesting to this happening and feel invalid in the trauma. And finally just to say, growing up can be really hard, especially if you dont feel safe and taken care of. Whenever my parents talked about him being such a nice guy or anything I truly hated it. Do my bad experience when I was 5 have any effect on me now without me knowing? I started to hurt myself intentionally out of anger (scratching/skin picking and eventually cutting). The symptoms of sexual abuse often cross with the symptoms of other traumas or difficult experiences. Im not sure if you are still replying as this article is over 3 years old, but I could use some advice. In kindergarten through third grade, I remember having very violent thoughts towards other kids. I do self harm and wanting to kill myself and I am on anti depressants but not taken for 2 or 3 weeks. We wish you courage! Yes B. I really wish this wasnt on my mind at the moment, but i dont know how to make it go back to the bottom of my mind where it belongs. A. We highly, highly recommend you get some support on this from a professional counsellor. As weve said in many of the comments above, we dont go to therapy to look at exactly what did or did not happen, but to find ways to manage better and take better care of ourselves and feel better. When our trust is decimated we can either shut people out or rush blindly at others, trusting so fast we then panic. I turned out ok, because I learned that I had to be better. My whole life Ive always gotten bruises without knowing where they came from. So you might want to start by identifying and working to change core beliefs. It could be that it happened, it could be a mix of memories, it could be something you watched in a film, or happened in a dream even, who knows. i have NEVER felt that before. And try to find a healthy way to vent your anger so that is doesnt push away those you love, as you need their support now, not to push them away. I really believe that my son was abused by his mothers boyfriend. But what we can say is that your memories with your father are obviously traumatic for you and have deeply affected you, enough that you are researching on the net. Its all very hazy. So try not to worry about things like that right now and use what energy you can muster to seek support. A Quiz On Grieving and Loss of Emotional Health. Is there free counselling at your high school or university? The other thing is that I get aroused way too easily, like if i just think about sex I feel that way or if im in the car and I feel a little vibration it happens. Because if you are not comfortable you can say no. You can just say that you are having very upsetting childhood flashbacks. I wanted to cry and scream help but no one was in the house. i was also made to hold a penis i was also fingered twice at the age of 12 or 13 for this reason i sometime have hatred for my mom blaming her for her carelesnes i feel unwanted and rejected and i have low self esteem i dont mingle among with people for the fear of by laugh at for not being a virgin and lastly i dont like people talking about sex virginity near me or make metion of someone by raped i over react when my siblings do something wrong i think i over react pls help me and sacred that my future husband will dislike me for not being a virgin pls help i havent told anyone a thing about this. Grab Now! There are still too many therapists who do not understand trauma (look at the fact that complex PTSD is only just been recognised and some countries still dont see it as a official diagnosis). We had lovely moments as a family. I struggle to concentrate and the result is severe procrastination. I think Ive been sexually abused as a young child but Im not so certain because my memory is not all there. Best, HT. Most child sexual abusers use physical force or threat to gain compliance from their victims. As you say, you are coping, and thats great. 20. After writing this it sounds like abuse but I still feel like its not that big of a deal and I should just forget about it. Is it possible that its just my PTSD causing this and not related to any sexual abuse? Hi.im 16 and have many of the symptoms listed above and im terrifiedi have one or two memories of my older brother playing a game in his room, including him making me lick his below area and him doing that to mei feel guilty, validated and started self-harming around 10(started not from this from him being physically violent), progressing to worse Self-harm cutting- at 13. (PS. No one else could see it but me. If we accept we still have personal power, despite our experiences. Hello, I have very early childhood memories, however I loose the memories from 3 until about 10 . What matters is to get help for symptoms. Linda, thank you for this brave sharing. I later ran to the toilet to vomit. Seek someone you feel you can grow to trust over time. Find a counsellor or therapist you feel comfortable around and work through this. And we are also sorry to hear that you have gone from telling nobody, not working through any of your fury, and having no support on this and now facing your accuser. I started liking boys at a really young age. But if you are worried wed advise seeing a counsellor. I also think its because I havent seen the female that was doing those sexual things to me between the ages of around 7-14 in months and I guess my brain has now decided its okay to suddenly have the memories resurface.Now I cant stop thinking about it. I think I said that too quick for my mom to understand but she wasnt still conecrened. I was already a very anxious person and the extreme overthinking led me to experience nightmares which I still have. I cannot even remember any of the good moments. I have huge memory gaps of my childhood. And sexual confidence or lack of it, as well as why we cant be in relationships, can be related to different things (for example if you didnt have parenting where you felt supported and safe that can affect relationships). You May Get You were abused as a child. Are you currently seeing a counsellor? In summary, yes, maybe you were abused, wed say there is as high a chance you werent, but we cant say, we dont know you or your life. I feel dirty and sick to my stomach after sex, as if I did something wrong. What do I do? It sounds like you have had to go through an awful lot of suffering and that you are still really suffering. It sounds like you have come through a lot to get to where you are today. Did you not get a counsellor or therapist to help? I remember my teachers and Classmates but thats basically it. Red Flags in a Relationship Quiz. We do highly recommend you find a therapist you feel comfortable with to work through these issues. She said she would talk to him i guess she did n she came to my bed i was awake waiting she hugged me and told me it was a misunderstanding i cried myself to sleep repeating in my head a misunderstanding..i dont like no one to see my body i hate the light on my first relationship i had a daughter and i was abused verbally n physically my second relationship i had a son i was not treated like i was enough i felt like i was invisable he is a good father but i was not in the picture .. i feel like i loose it sometimes and i need to see what to do because i have two kids .. n i have this other thing that i keep wanting to get pregnant like a desire but i know i shouldnt but i ask myself why i feel the desire too be pregnant ? What we do believe is that a client has to be willing to get better and move past the idea that they are too flawed to ever change, and then that the click has to be there. I grew up in the 80s and like many kids growing up in that time period I was spanked but so was other kids, so I cant think it was necessarily that. I am not listing these categories to be disgusting but simply to list a few things that I think are symptoms. In august he went to jail on other chargers and was able to move out to a safe place. It is highly advised you dont react by immediately contacting and accusing all the people who might have abused you. I dont have clear memory of anything. The child have been saying he doesnt know his father and that nothing happened to him. I do remember that we used to do push-ups together, it was our thing, just he and I. I only remember doing push-ups one or two times though. Hi Dove. Sex has always been a rough topic for me i remember when my close friend told me she had lost her virginity i had a mental breakdown and started bawling my eyes out. Also, when I was at the shelter, I experienced some things that would easily make a person I was sexually abused. But wed advise you read our article on what to do if you think you were abused here http://bit.ly/dealwithabuse. A. We know it sounds scary but we have an article here on how to ask your parents to help you with mental health http://bit.ly/talktoparents. My memories as a child are very limited. My maternal grandparents NEVER had me alone, never babysat etc. It comes in all sorts of forms. Hi Im 33 years old, and for many years I never thought about my experience with my stepfather, I was so little, but every now and then I would remember one specific occasion, but would just ignore it and think its in the past, Im a grown-up and it was nothing, I turned out fine But for the past two years Ive started remembering more things And started to actually cry and accept that it wasnt ok. No matter how much of a good father he was to me, helping my mom to give me the best education and everything I needed , I finally understood I was and, worst of all, I FELT ABUSED back then. Hi K.C., this sounds tough. Im absolutely terrified of him, a lot of these issues apply to me. Your therapist could help you get to a point you feel comfortable perhaps talking to your cousins and getting this off your chest in a productive, healing way. In summary, you say its getting to hard to handle. I guess the movie was over n he started walking towards the room so i turned the radio off n he was like what are you doing? hi its really hard for me to write this since its my first time where I actually put this in words. It is not in any way your fault. My concern is even talking to a therapist could start swaying me towards assuming I was when I may not have been abused. Maybe there is a reason I cant remember what happened. Doing something like THAT to your younger sister? Raise this subject with your therapist and talk it through. Cuz I need to know if my dad actually did something to me. And its obvious you are feeling anxious and depressed. I have all the symptoms of sexual abuse, including panic attacks, constant anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, low self esteem, intense mood swings and opinion changes, little sense of identity and HORRIBLE distrust of my parents, especially of my mother. We deserve care and protection, not assault, or to feel that we have to be sexual. We wish you continuing courage in your healing journey. Yes, its possible. Term. I like pretty weird stuf sexually and porn wise. I come from a past of physical abuse but not of the sexual nature. I need to know what happened. How do you stop feeling like you need it to relax? Wed suggest finding a counsellor you think you might be able to grow to trust, and who has experience in dealing with clients who have suffered abuse. After I turned 13 I knew something happened to me but blew it off. Im 17. Thank you! I am especially concerned about accidentally implicating did not happen. As with most complex issues there is likely truth on both sides. Is there someone you can talk to about this? I get disgusted with the thoughts of being with a male and have such low self esteem about myself. You need sustained support from a counsellor or therapist you can trust. Then do try to find professional support as soon as possible, whether that is a counsellor or psychotherapist with expertise around sexual abuse, or a local support group. I couldnt bare for my mother to think I was a freak, I still cant. For example, the daughter of a mother who was raped and talks about it non stop can start to develop symptoms herself. Cant Stop Crying? In summary, best to read our article on what to do next http://bit.ly/dealwithabuse and then seek support. I have has sexual excitations since I can remember. This would be the first thing you should discuss if you have such a visceral reaction, along with immediately sharing that you feel unheard by other therapists, that you feel diminished, and that you want to be taken at face value. It only ticked now, that Im suffering from severe, debilitating anxiety issues that it is not normal for me to have dismissed traumatic events in such a way and it might be part of the problem. Hi there. It feels intimidating, so scary and it makes me feel like shes someone else I dont know. Perhaps she felt she was doing her best to keep a roof over your heads, etc, but a child needs to feel safe and protected and prioritised. And its wonderful to see your courage to contemplate finding help. But yes, therapy can definitely make real change for those who suffered trauma. Try our sister site of UK-wide therapy listings, where you can find an affordable therapist or online counsellor based on unbiased reviews. Who knows However, after reading all of the indicators of sexual abuse above I pretty much tick all of the boxes and have had this concerning thought clouding my mind for a while now as to whether I was infact sexually abused as a child? But now, because of the pandemic, I havent talked to him. Best, HT. Hi Magali, have a read through the comment stream. A family member was emotionally abusive for 15 years of my life. And even the few times where I did say no or tried to stop it, I wasnt very adamant about it and hed always get his way with me in the end. The brain is a very complicated thing, and unless someone creates a time machine many of us have to accept that our mind doesnt have clear memories. The things we did started out not sexual, but then turned into touching of skin then tracing his fingers on my stomach and slowly into my underwear, not knowing any better it was neat and exciting, then that turned into touching my penis and then him performing oral. But it is not right for an adult to pull a child into sexual activity. You and your concerns need to be heard and respected. Im 20 now. Common & Uncommon Sexual Development. They have a way to turn the conversation back on you. I was a kid back then maybe 4 or 5 or 6. I have weird and uncommon fetishes too that is too much for someone who comes from my background. He is your partner. My mom got really mad and told his mother (her friend). But I felt creepy about my dad and I think Id remember if Id been abused. London Bridge. The last thing that happened was me jumping on her bed, trying to wake her up. Although one time I was sleeping and she tried to advance on me, and at that point I was very shocked and went to sleep in my closet instead of next to her when she was sleeping over which caused her to stop and its never been brought up again. There are many things ahead of you you cant even imagine, but you do have to stick around to see them and we want you to. Read through the symptoms and I have a majority of them, but they also seem broad strokes enough to be applicable for any other reason. HI, You sound like you have done a lot of work on it, and you have a depth of understanding of others that truly helps you, such as being able to understand how your parents did the best they can with the tools they then had. Yes, absolutely B. Try not to think of it as getting into trouble, as it might result in him getting the help he needs, too. There is low self-esteem in here, you are struggling to take care of yourself and set boundaries with others. Because we cant change what happened but we can change our future by taking care of our symptoms and ourselves. My grandparents would make me bathe with my cousin (male) while watching us. I usually never say no to my boyfriend when it comes to sex, even if i dont want to have it. I am going to be 24 next month and I have substance abuse issues, I started taking painkillers when I was 13 and also self harm. Its confusing stuff, childhood sexuality and what happens between kids. So me, my same age cousin, and other kids also thought it was normal since none of the other adults said or did anything. He should have empathy for what you have experienced and love you for your inner qualities. It shouldnt have happened to you. my temper has been out of control, ive had random outbursts crying my heart out in the middle of day, tried to kill myself several times in middle school. But I can usually get over that sadness until the next wave hits me. After that about a year later a church bus driver tried to stick his hand up my skirt as i walked by the church pews. Hi Ana. Ones like psychodynamic therapy or psychoanalysis, or anything that focuses on going over the past, can make us feel re-traumatised. I have suffered from SEVERE anxiety for as long as i can remember. You need to find someone to talk to. If you are looking for permission to blame your family, thats a bit trickier, and worth looking at how that will help you or hinder you before engaging in. I dont want her to feel guilty or bad for me when I dont even know if anything happened. I was horrified, as anyone would be, but I just could not stop thinking about it. Any kind of special technique is not reliable or even dangerous as it can cause false memories and a whole set of other symptoms. Bree, we arent God, so we cant give you any official truth, but from our perspective, nobody is born to be this depressed, anxious, lonely, and afraid. Of course if one sibling is substantially older, or intimidates or threatens the other child, or one child doesnt want to play such games and is coerced then it can be sexual assault. I do remember some parts of when I was in kindergarten and so. Is there someone you feel you could talk to about this? Abuse can lead to long term complex trauma, and certain types of therapy will just trigger you over help you. It was at that point that he would come to the room I was staying at and would touch me very subtly but it was different then tickling. My concern is the fear that I have with my daughters when a men, another boy or their own father are too close to them, its so hard for me. I can remember my earliest nightmare was around 12. The reason can be more sinister behind just typical fear. Hi there. Im 25 years old and I recently started to reflect a lot on how I was as a child. My mum is still friends with the couple and now, almost 16 years after initially telling my sister, i find myself wondering if i made it all up or if that really happened? bit.ly/mentalhelplines. Do you have someone to talk to? What do we do? I would crave for men to touch me even though I was scared. I always gave him excuses like oh we shared a room and he was a man,man do that but now that I think about it, I feel angry because we had a TV in the living room, HE COULD WATCH HIS PORN AND MASTURBATE THERE, or he could at least turn down the volume But no, its like he didnt mind about my well-beingor he wanted me to listen. I spent years in physical isolation and struggle to this day, sometimes. A therapist is just there to listen, to reflect back, and help you find your own inner resources. Shame and Guilt. I didnt know what sex was (like, penetration and such), so Im wondering how I got that idea in the first place, Because when I had sex ED in school, I remember thinking oh, so sex isnt only mouth to genital, but how in the world did I know that? If you are in the UK, do call Childline if you ever feel very upset, its a free service for young people. I think I was sexually abused when I was younger, but I have no memory of it at all. Its okay to have a panic attack trying with your counsellor. Toddlers and young kids often touch and play with themselves, its normal, girls often rub their legs together as a form of self soothing as a child. She said she has been worried about if I was abused when I was little because I was always really shy and I was especially scared when it came to older men. Some of us just dont like being touched, either at all or in certain areas. I dont know, maybe Im just neurotic, but at this point in my life, I dont know how to get out of my fantasize world. In any case, there are indeed people who abuse infants, and it can have the exact same long term effects as being abused later on. Medication pauses the symptoms, anxiety and depression, and is wonderful for helping us cope, but to change the roots of the problem talk therapy is recommended. Otherwise it becomes something involving child services and/or possibly the police. I remember my heart thumping really loudly and telling him to get off me and he eventually would. No, not at all C. I am not sure D. Rarely 3. If you actually read the New Testament Jesus himself allowed himself to rage in moments. Your babysitter took advantage of you and committed a crime. Look for a counsellor or psychotherapist with experience with sexual abuse, and try to find someone you feel you can eventually trust and that you feel a click with. I have not idea what happen during that time. I thought these were all symptoms of my personality but now i feel as if there is more to uncover. Sorry this is such a long post. I make impulsive sexual decisions that I regret immediately. The question here is, do you feel good after these behaviours, or do you feel sad/depressed, suggesting they are unhealthy coping mechanisms. Do you focus too much on the sexual aspect of the relationship that it gives you uncontrollable anxiety and created problems in your relationship? If theres any advice to be given, Im open to listening. Anyways if someone could please just tell me what this memory is classified as it will give me easy. All this alone is traumatic and scary and enough to create any of the symptoms you are talking about, without it having gone further. Have you ever been in a situation in which someone told you to keep what theyve done to you a secret? We are really glad to hear it. The thing is, my memories of my childhood are foggy. /early twenties and that I always thought people would find me disgusting if they really knew me. Could you talk to a school counsellor? But there seems to be a bit of anxiety here, a bit of worry, and a sense of not belonging that goes all the way back to childhood, and that this comment by the neighbour has really triggered it. Teresa, sexual abuse is sadly all too common, 1 in 4 children is the official statistic. I know something had happened to my sister when she was younger and it was from my cousin. Or on looking at ways they do seem to know what they are doing, seem genuinely interested in helping, and are doing their best at their job. It was just echoing what the abusers and those who enable them by disbelief did almost the same words sometimes. I am a 45 year male, dealing with vivid flashbacks of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of my slightly older brother. I would often let him do whatever he wanted or do whatever he wanted me to do, even if I didnt really want to. And sometimes it doesnt come. Gosh thank you SO much for sharing this. And why always protecting my crotch when sleeping? Im terrified of him and seeing him makes me want to throw up. I am socially detached and dont know how To cope with these issues because I worked so hard looking for forgiveness and acceptance that i Barely gave myself time to realize that I was molested and that it wasnt me who was the issue.

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