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(She raises her skirt and does a mincing step around the room. She starts to pack up her diaphragm and jelly, and I say cant you hold off on the fucking until you know a little better just what the fuck you are doing? Your mum must be pretty stoked that youre not taking me. The one who writes the plays, thats him, only now he writes them in Spain No, shes in Spain, too, theyre all in Spain, theres no one here Am I in Spain? And Im left with Chuck. Is he crazy? The only fucking person I have ever allowed to call me Judy. But for any guy hoping that the sizzling details of my sordid past will inspire you to lock the bathroom door and do it to it with your sisters moisturising lotion youll be gravely disappointed. I figured Id wait a couple of hours till the cats were dead and mum was feeling a bit sorry for herself and Id knock on the front door and say to her Hi, mum, Ive come to talk about our unresolved conflicts but, oh, no, one of those cats ran into the house. Its too late to go home and change. So even though youve technically lost, youve really won. I asked her if he made her wash the bits he cant reach. Im okay! Since Im being judged by a jury of my peers I will attempt to insert like and totally into my confession as much as possible. It means, Kayleigh, no more fun. I went in and there was Martin sitting bolt upright in his chair with his nostrils quivering and the most terrible look on his face. What does a girl have to do these days? Unrequited passion, of course. So, hey, Lise you wanna go see Judas Priest at Nassau Coliseum? One day, I was reading some Shakespeare and realized I dont really love this person It was one of the sonnets. Horace: Eighty percent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in danger of contamination. He discovers that I was this really fascinating woman all along. Then, everything about me was entered into a computer where they created a model of my mind. Grovel almost. It would be just like being asleep in a box. Ten years. There are only a few things in life that are guaranteed to be glorious and memorable and sparkling with gowns and cummerbunds. Dolly Levi: Yonkers, New York, to handle a highly personal matter for Mr. Horace Vandergelder, the well-known, unmarried, half-a-millionaire. I must not seem proud; happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending. I made the young men help me gather the jonquils ! Youre in way over your head. Martins dead. Stop seeing each other or going out or anything like that. Even so, it was, you know, embarrassin and the mad thing is the room was upstairs with the curtains open and didnt the 19A fly past and the whole top deck nearly broke their necks for a gander. And the pretension! I dont know how this happened. The conference was sadly borne; they have the truth of this from Hero. The right one. Thats a fact. I mean, best in ages. So I start tellin her about my mole and cancer and all this and she starts feelin me like she had plastic gloves on and I was lyin on this bed, like a baby almost . For she hath blessed and attractive eyes. Eric. And she cant help herself. Maybe if I just vomited on myself the guy would walk the other way but I bet even then, Id get, The way you vomit on yourself is just so, so delightful., All I want is to be left alone. Irene Molloy: If you ask me, she'd do better with a heavy veil. Life in a box is better than no life at all. From the south, have a good job And an absolutely wonderful dancer, if I do say so myself. plays nightly (excepts Sundays) at 7:30 PM through June 10, with additional matinees at 12:30 PM and 4 PM on Saturdays and at 4 PM on Mondays (starting May 8) and May 12 and 19, at Hale Centre Theatre (9900 South Monroe Street, Sandy). when guys come up to me, with their cheesy lines, (imitating guy) Hey, you have such a beautiful smile or Can I just tell you that you are so beautiful. Not every painting has to rip your guts out and expose your soul! If so, my eyes are oftener washd than hers. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. I really like you I dont really agree with most of your opinionsbut I dont meet a lot of people who can actually make me think, you know? He did it from memory, but it was a perfect likeness of her. I know all that. Required fields are marked *. "Hello, Dolly! ), I wore it on Sundays for my gentlemen callers ! Max: It made some sort of cosmic sense. Im just a kid at the time, but I can remember thinking that. Cornelius Hackl: We have to, 'cause some rotten cans of chicken mash are going to explode. Jerry Hermans energetic Hello, Dolly! Sell when you can; you are not for all markets. It was the fault of the psychiatrist. She looked at it, and then she looked at him. But I just-I just wish women would say what they mean. Who knew those would be the magic words? You just take Katrina to the dance because I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. If you marry me, your parents will be ecstatic, and you will have lost a lifelong battle of defiance against them. I cant believe it. Then, using the computer model, they generated every thought I could possibly have in the next, say ten years, which they then filtered through a probability matrix to determine everything I was going to do in that period. Your parents. Picnics. I wanna thank all of you for a terrific summer. 2 Hello Dolly Monologue Minnie Fay 2020-07-26 Twelve Years a Slave Dramatists Play Service Inc This book considers developments in the production and consumption of popular music in England over a period of some two hundred years, which saw dramatic changes in the socio-economic, demographic and cultural life of the country. Dolly Levi: Mr. Kemper, everything concerns Dolly Levi! Well, I didnt mean that in any kind of lascivious way, so I dont know why you want to take it like that. I see a man walking towards me from the bus stop. In a minute someones going to bang on the lid and tell me to come out. I have some flat shoes in my bag and anyway, hes fat. Even if we have to go with our cousin, or our gay best friend from tap class, we will have a Prom. Maybe Ill never have someone get down on a knee and offer me a diamond ring. Have I told you how Martin died? Then I realised that the smell was coming from the lounge room. I say Youre going to get a girl, buddy, just maybe not your cousin, huh? And then I give him a friendly pat on the back. Horace: Advice is cheap Ms. Molloy. Im crazy. If only I was a little quicker. Styles havent changed so terribly much after all. met your father ! How come Judy Rude lost out to Molly Blah? Of natures sale-work. - Definition, Origin & History, Woodstock: History, Facts, Performers & Bands, Jesus Christ Superstar: Summary & Characters, Electronic Music: History, Types & Artists, Art, Music, and Architecture Around the World, Introduction to Textiles & the Textile Industry, World Music & Art Lesson Plans & Activities, NES Music - WEST (504): Practice & Study Guide, Library Science 101: Information Literacy, Pope Gregory II: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory VII: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory VIII: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory XII: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory XIII: Accomplishments & Legacy, Pope Gregory XV: Biography & Accomplishments, Pope Gregory XVI: Biography & Accomplishments, Bishop Oscar Romero: Biography, Assassination & Quotes, Blessed James Alberione: Biography, Death & Quotes, Pope John XXIII: Biography, Facts & Quotes, Pope John XXIII: Canonization, Contributions & Miracles, Archbishop Aloysius Stepinac: Biography & Quotes, Working Scholars Bringing Tuition-Free College to the Community. (moves to Fale, jabs him with a finger) You think I told her about the Army of the 12 Monkeys? Stop! Dolly Levi: As my late husband, Ephraim Levi, used to say, 'If you have to live from hand-to-mouth, you'd better be ambidextrous.'. I went and stood in a card shop for a bit to sort my head out. My dad was always working late golfing on weekends, and I knew it was because of her. A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. . But thats not the worst bit, Stephen. Okay? Yes, but theres no one here, love. Thats not a crime, you know. Through Dolly's subtle machinations, several unlikely couples come together to find happiness in 19th-century New York. Hallie: Gonna be insane. Cher: It was a joke, Amanda and her jonquils ! Mother said, Honey, theres no more room for jonquils. And still I kept on bringing in more jonquils. Theres this man, Michael. She was a human rights observer sent to interview him. - Definition, History & Artists, What Is Reggae? Harrys a bit fat. Annie, wake up, youre related to a bona fide genius. Every evening for all these years I've put out the cat, I've locked the door, I've made myself a little rum toddy, and before I went to bed I said a prayer, thanking God that I was independent, that no one else's life was mixed up with mine. But then it dawned on me. James: You probably think Im some spoiled brat whos never had it hard cause I didnt have to walk a mile to school. And teach me about art and life and magic and I thought you could make me feel like a beautiful woman instead of the girl nobody wanted. Than she a woman: tis such fools as you Your email address will not be published. But I feel it coming up now, more and more, and I just think- No, thats bullshit, actually, the whole work thing. And for your information, I adore your father. So I suggest you do not tangle with me anymore. No one at Westerburgs going to let you play their reindeer games. Course it was a woman doctor. It was a separate arrangement. Its a wonderful age. I cant sneak around on you. Cos I got bored and had sex with you? Regina George: 1. Youre sorry?! No, Im not in Spain, dear. This was not easy going up and down the halls with. It disgusts me. Like they just need so much help and theyre in those ugly cages, you know what I mean? So great. Literally. Oh Hello! All morality. Shes really crying hard now, and she goes back into the bedroom. Cos I mean, if I thought the rest of my life would be spent as a mindless cog in a machine, I swear Id just get a tattoo across my face that says: Really man? Just need to figure out a way of growing up without becoming a boring adult. Gillian: I definitely caved in to the peer pressure. Pat. Something Ive resurrected from that old trunk! That was the spring I had the craze for jonquils. Meg bought me this T-shirt at the Warner Brothers store, and its got a picture of Superman on it. I make an appointment, six weeks later in I go. Like, What the fuck were you doing having a kid months after breaking up with me, like You said you were like me, you never wanted kids, like Damn straight I look good I havent been sucked dry by tit-leeches. First performed on Broadway in 1964, it enjoyed a nearly 3000 show first run, was awarded 10 Tonys, and has seen numerous revivals both on and off Broadway. They say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. New York, NY, SM for Poor Yella Rednecks To get you started, here are 10 top monologues for auditions. You were a Brownie, you were a Bluebird, you were a Girl Scout Cookie! 11 chapters | What are you ashamed that we did it? The change of climate from East Tennessee to the Delta weakened resistance I had a little temperature all the time not enough to be serious just enough to make me restless and giddy. is a 1969 American musical romantic comedy film based on the 1964 Broadway production of the same name, which was based on Thornton Wilder 's play The Matchmaker. is a musical filled with charisma and with heart. My friend Boomers hooking me up a job at the Mercedes dealership on Jericho Turnpike. The fact is, Ive been acting like a prick. And thank God we didnt have any children. You just take Katrina to the dance okay? And thank heaven, fasting, for a good mans love: New York, NY, SM for Poor Yella Rednecks Will you look at this? And Im dying to know Mom. Squire, Squire, Hackham, and hold on, Ill go and look. Hello. Or I might go to church. Just dont come any closer. And the fact of me being here doesnt check out. I might pumice my feet. But I cant help it. I thought that was the deal. If you are reading a monologue below and feel excited to get up and have a play that is your monologue. Why were you talking to Janis Ian? A return from Miss Mortimer again? Juno: Like its such an intense experience but then nobody knows what to fuckin say, even though nothing really bad actually happened. For more information, visit hct.org. It used to seriously piss me off. I cant open sardines and answer the phone. In the end, everyone ends up together with his or her desired partner. But if farts were flattery, honey he would be Shakespeare. Um. There is no box. Boom. We don't currently have any monologues from Hello, Dolly!. He cant take his eyes off me. But it turns out bikes can go fast and flip you into the road. But who is here? I highlighted my hair because you said I needed shimmer. Tis not your inky brows, your black silk hair, I liked this girl. Than any of her lineaments can show her. Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! And they were his last words. Answer (1 of 2): One of my favorites is from ""Hello Dolly!" The stage production, not the movie. It isn't overly long, like a Shakespeare monologue, but it is poignant and energetic. Evidence. Thats a pretty over-the-top version. Ods my little life! Minnie Fay's Monologue // Hello Dolly - YouTube 0:00 / 1:25 Minnie Fay's Monologue // Hello Dolly 3,917 views Jul 24, 2019 18 Dislike Share Haley Katherine 7 subscribers Haley Katherine. Irene Molloy: Minnie, I don't mind that you never finish your lunch, but I do mind that you never finish your sentences. (She wears a girlish frock of yellowed voile with a blue silk sash. Local caf girl is hit by a bike and a car and another bike. So theyre out there somewhere helping themselves. Im even gonna get a compact disc player. Other important songs include: Put On Your Sunday Clothes, Ribbons Down My Back and Before the Parade Passes By. Yknow, about authentic love. I think we should switch places. Dead? So of course the rugby guys and the rowing guys and the wrestling guys would come in at night and theyd pin me down and get it out of their system the rage. . As youll see from some of the monologues on this list, some are simply just lighter in nature. I cant just live in this limbo. Then were in the bathroom, and shes putting all her makeup and shit into a bag, and shes telling me that its nothing Ive done, this Eric guy is totally different, they connect on a whole other level. Whenever, wherever I saw them, Id say, Stop ! So here it goes. Its the only crime where you have to be at the scene of it to make it a perfect crime, to give yourself satisfaction. Everything you wanna learn, you could just look up online. Like, totally. Some feeling? She closed the curtains after that. Id been seeing him because of my Pyromania thats a person who likes lighting fires-but you probably know that being University educated. I went straight to Sues house and was literally about to tell her and thats the night she said she finally wanted to have sex. Manager stumbling out of his glass booth there, the works. And did he ask how I was? We aim to cover all bases some are from classical playwrights, and others from contemporary TV series. On the other, I think shes the only person on Earth who can make me happy. Coz all of those things would exponentially cooler than going to the dance with you. She told me she just wanted a bit of fun, and now she turns around and does this! I had it on the day I met your father. But the problem is.despite every fact I can muster, theres something that still doesnt check out. and Im supposed to be at a game by seven, Im on JV, and shes just farting around in the candy isle, picking up bags of fun size Snickers and checking out the calories. The talking-talking-talking-Jesus-Christ-wont-he-ever-shut-up titanic self-absorption of the man! There was one, with a photo of fat little baby feet, next to a card which said Its your birthday, lets get wankered. This crush its like a disease. The one dark secret that will absolutely be the wedge that keeps us apart. Nor do I, really Its silly to be depressed by it. I hear how I am censured: they say I will bear myself proudly if I perceive the love come from her. You know, Ive been thinking a lot about why we shouldnt get married. School school school school school. Jonquils became an absolute obsession. On one hand, I want to forget her. One of my favorites is from ""Hello Dolly!" Boo was built a bit like a guinea pig. was an important and frequently covered piece. Can you believe it? Alison? Im not passionate. Why, what means this? She seems to shed real tears in Dolly's monologues to her late husband Ephraim . yonkers and new york city, the end of the 19th century, College/University, Community Theatre, High School, Professional Theatre, Religious Groups. I was thinking about what I was going to order when I remembered that I hadnt left anything out for Martin. Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more. When it was time for her to leave, he asked if he could look at her face for a while so that he would have something beautiful to remember in the long months ahead. I take half an hour trying to look nice and I ended up looking amazing. Made me compare with Hermias sphery eyne? We all work together to contribute useful articles and resources for actors at all stages in their careers. Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with You and ask for things, but now I really must insist that You help me win the election tomorrow, because I deserve it and Paul Metzier doesnt, as You well know. This is my friend. But then I was thinkin, well what would I like better have a woman or a man feeling me? Hello, Dolly! I dont know what it is with me lately but I just get so UGH! And Im like, Whats the problem? and he says The problem is, dude, youre fucking my girlfriend. So I look at Marissa and Im like Youre someones girlfriend? And she says No. Then it comes out Chuck just wishes shes his girlfriend but actually shes his cousin or something, so hes got these feelings of guilt about wanting herand then he starts crying. Bring a typed copy with you as you will need to hand a copy of the monologue to Mrs. Gilligan when entering the room. (Holding a can of vegetables.) We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. So she gives me this letter to bring to a urologist at the hospital. Apparently. Then I was fine. So I put the dog outside but the smell didnt go away. This isnt working! Im gonna go for a 560, convertible, in gold, with leather interior, all the options. This can be no trick. So you see, she knew I was going to lead the Army of the Twelve Monkeys into the pages of history before it ever even occurred to me. Shakespeare in the Woods 2023 Season What you may not know is that I also own a bottle of dick cream, I fondle my sweaters, and I often like to smear mud on my ass. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. Invitations poured in parties all over the Delta! I mean, I couldnt have a lesbian there. - Definition, Artists & History, What is Gospel Music? Both sides As if he were a child And I dont get a Thank You.. But, mistress, know yourself: down on your knees, One of the peculiar things about Hello, Dolly! I thought you were just creative and I thought you were just smarter than me and more sensitive and more interesting. --Rochelle O'Gorman, https://www.quotes.net/movies/hello,_dolly!_5140, https://www.quotes.net/movies/hello,_dolly!_quotes_5140. This is the real deal, honey and nothing you do is going to come between as. In fact, we have to trust the playwright or screenwriter and just fully commit to the situation. I love you madly. It's the things that come gift wrapped that count! I wouldnt think about it, if I were you. . Hello Dolly Monologue Flashcards Learn Test Match Flashcards Learn Test Match Created by Gabriella_Hay Terms in this set (7) Its so easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of our lives or be looking forward to the next something coming up around the corner Not everyone wants art that actually HURTS! Factors in. I know you look at me now and think, boy she must have breezed through high school. Just this, like, one tear I see as were sitting at a stoplight on the way home. And virtuous tis so, I cannot reprove it. 2 No, no, I am as ugly as a bear; I've only seen him once in my life! And then theres biting and kissing and touching and suddenly someone starts beating on me, I mean, just pounding on me and growling. Added to which: he was a very pale man, heavy-breather I did wonder briefly if he might actually be Death, come to get me. JEFFREY abruptly switches from rage to good humor, adopting a supercilious smile and a patronizing tone. You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her, But I cant help it. Or maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Michael: You hate everything. Know why, you pathetically ineffectual and pusillanimous pretend-friend-to-animals?! It wasnt her intention, but it wasnt a total accident. Youre starting to feel like a woman and believe it or not soon youll understand what its like to be in love. If requested, here are a few audition monologues for Hello, Dolly! We'll start with Lesson 7, the Waltz Kick Turn. (beat) Some very bad guys strapped a bomb to my chest and they are forcing me to commit a crime. Left the shop. That make the world full of ill-favourd children: .I'll give you the short one Oh Mrs. Molloy! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A WOMAN WHO ARRANGES THINGS. I still have your virginity. Sophia: I mean, who the hell does this guy or that guy think he is to give me such compliments? This also has meant all the people had to be younger. won Academy Awards for best sound, art direction, and musical score. And as can be ascertained from the lyrics she is a very excitable figure, the life of the party so to speak. Head over heels. Im getting pills, blood-thinners. (beat) No thank-yous no yum-yums not a peep, tho Man is silent as the grave. --Rochelle O'Gorman Genre: Comedy, Musical, Romance Stars: Barbra Streisand, Walter Matthau, Michael Crawford, Marianne McAndrew Production: 20th Century Fox Won 3 Oscars. Matchmaker Dolly Levi is a widow, a matchmaker, and also a professional meddler --but everything changes when she decides that the next match she needs to make is to find someone for herself. is an immensely successful, charming musical. You were nothing before you met me! But then one of the other doctors popped in, called him Nigel, mentioned something about badminton so I thought: probably not. I mean, hes just laying out there. library of free monologues. Ill tell you what happens. This team includes Andrew, Alex, Luke, Jake, Indiana, Patrick and more. Like, one of my favourites is that the bus breaks down one day in this remote place and there we are stranded together. For instance, okay, junior year I dated this girl, Sue Hornick. The musician. Well Im sorry, Ive loved a few people a lot, but no-ones ever stepped out of the shadows and handed me a crystal ball. And it just defies all reason. Look, mate, I dont know whats happening I just arrived, right? Lysander if you live, good sir, awake, Rosalind: Act 3, Scene 5 I put it to you, Camp Firewood, as we spend the last dinner together: Be proud of who you are. Bores you?! Rudolph Reisenweber: No expression. After I plan my future around our wedding. Amanda Wingfield: His name for me. boarding school! Dance ability: some. Hunted. HELLO, DOLLY! Horace: All the facts about you are insults! Boos death hit the papers. People come that like, didnt R.S.V.P.! Not about the swearing, the things I called her, nothing. Gathered. Jude: "Her husband's death has been recent, she's more in love with his memory. You want to know what Dad is like, right? She didnt think shed actually die, just found out that her boyfriend slept with someone else and she wanted to punish him by ending up in hospital and not letting him visit her for a bit. Just for a minute. I will also end statements with a question mark? Do you know oh, Im almost too embarrassed to admit this Adam misses the bus sometimes. There were Aussies killed up there, mate, there were English, there were Scots, there were fucking Moslems, for fucks sake! Gene: You seem like a real sweet girl and I, just, I dont want you to get hurt. Not with salt tears: lovely! Im nuts, you know, Im really crazy. Do you think I let that stop me? Dear old Mom and Dad. Over the wretched? Dolly Levi: Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. Based on Thornton Wilder's play The Matchmaker, Hello, Dolly! Finally there were no more vases to hold them, every available space was filled with jonquils. He tells me theres a one in four chance Im not fertile, that I cant be a father, like. Henry: I thought, I dunno, I thought maybe they were so close together they felt like one, or maybe when one was down there, the other was off doing somethin else like I dunno, I just never thought about it.

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